You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
whose parrot is this?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
