i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
