You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
this beer tastes like vomit already
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
