I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
