They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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