you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
