i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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