My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
