Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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