Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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