I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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