K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
