I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
