i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
