I am in a vortex of obligation.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize