I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
