Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
