trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
