I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize