My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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