ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
