dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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