I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I had to cum in my sink.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
