Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
