there was a trapeze. enough said
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
