I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
