i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
