Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize