i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
did i walk over a car last night?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
