Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
