I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You took a bar mat shot.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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