Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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