Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
