You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Randomize
