needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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