Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
God I need to hump something, right now.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
