so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
