does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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