Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm getting married
To pizza
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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