what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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