I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
