Can Purell be used as lube?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
