I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I have post one night stand depression
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