I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
