Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
