: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
