I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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