they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
