Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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