We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i dont even know how to be here
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
