i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
