I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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