Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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