Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
