can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This house was built for laser tag.
it's like iHOP with fire
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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