dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
