Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
