my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize