Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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