found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
